The meteoric rise of electronic devices connected to the Internet allows us to instantly communicate with people around the world just as easily as with our friends across town.  All of them allow our society and our world to be tied together like never before.  The power is simply astounding, but as the saying goes, with great power comes great responsibility.

The problem with this technology is that it has enabled a new threat to emerge—cyber-bullying.

Cyber-bullying occurs when electronic devices such as cellular phones, computers & tablets are used to send text, images, or video that are intended to harass or harm someone. It is similar to off-line bullying, but the difference is that it utilizes the Internet and social media sites. It may also be posted anonymously. This makes it is nearly impossible to control or limit the spread of the offending information once it is online.

With so many social media outlets for us to communicate on, it is impossible to monitor and determine the content that is posted on all of these sites. However, one disparaging comment posted on just a few of them could end up ruining someone’s career or their life.

Cyber-bullying is perpetuated by online friends, classmates, ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends, and often by anonymous users.  Most of the time the victim knows the perpetrator. It may be initiated due to some sort of personal problem that exists between the two. The problem with cyber-bullying is that
it doesn’t stop there. Once it gets online in whatever form, it is easy to go “viral” and spread all over social media in an extremely short period of time.  This compounds the problem much worse when compared to offline bullying.

There are many types of cyber-bullying.  The most obvious is sending bullying or harassing messages directly to someone’s cell phone or email account. Since this doesn’t involve any other people and isn’t posted online, it typically is the easiest to control. This doesn’t mean that it is any less damaging to the person who is the victim, but at least it can often be dealt with and isn’t all over the Internet.

Another common type of cyber-bullying is making nasty or inappropriate comments about someone on their Facebook page or other social networking  site. All of that person’s “friends” could potentially read those comments and be exposed to them. With literally dozens of popular sites that exist, the task of controlling what is said about a person becomes basically impossible to stop.

A much more embarrassing and potentially damaging type of cyber-bullying involves sending images or video of a sexual, inappropriate or lewd nature to the victim. These could be of the victim, and the bully could threaten to post them online unless the victim does or does not do something. A threat like “You better not tell my boyfriend that I cheated on him or else I’ll post this picture of you on Facebook!” This form of cyber-bullying is essentially blackmail and you may have legal recourse.  Anything that is sent or posted such as information about a person’s sexual orientation, ethnicity, race, weight, looks, religion, or basically anything that causes someone to feel as if they are inferior or an outcast is valid.

How to know if your child is the bully:

• Many parents are unaware that the bullying is occurring or downplay it as “busting” or “just messing around”
• learn to recognize bullying behavior such quickness to anger, physical bullying such as pushing, shoving, throwing, kicking, loud and demanding speech, acting out, refusing to listen, and overall increased negative and possibly obsessive behavior
• Most parents deny that their child is the bully even when confronted; they instead may redirect the blame to the victim or say it was done in retaliation
• Parents do not want to believe that the child they raised is a bully because they may feel that it reflects poorly on their parenting skills (or lack of them)
• Parents may be bullies themselves and think that the behavior is “normal” and so there is nothing wrong with it
• talk to siblings, classmates and teachers about their behavior
• The child must understand that what they are doing is bullying; they may not realize it is
• Have the child speak out loud or record what they are saying to others and play it back; it may surprise them to hear what they are saying
• Tell the child that if they find themselves bullying another, immediately stop and walk away
• Parents need to help the child understand that it can be hurtful and damaging on many levels to the victim – emotional, mental and physical
• Parents should let the child know that they should not submit to peer pressure if others are engaging in bullying behavior
• Parents can have their child ask a friend to help them learn to recognize their bullying behavior in order to stop doing it
• Parents must help the child determine what underlying problems may be causing them to act out in this way

How to know if your child is the victim:

• check their online social media accounts, email, texts, etc.
• be aware of changes to behavior such as the person becoming more withdrawn, depressed or nervous
• look for negative changes in appearance such as lack of cleanliness, excessive weight loss or loss of appetite
• Make sure the victime knows that they are NOT the problem, the bully is

Parents and teachers, and bystanders can do a lot to help including:

• Interrupt the bully by trying to change the subject or redirect their attention away from the person being bullied
• You can speak up for the person being bullied
• You can simply ask the bully to stop
• Encourage the person being bullied to go out with a group to avoid being singled out
• Educate the person being bullied about building confidence and improving self-esteem; have them recognize their accomplishments
• Have the bully watch & listen to how they sound by recording them
• Talk to the bully and see what underlying problems may be causing the bullying
• Get the bully to make a conscious decision to change

Hope this information helps!